An Ancient Cure And A Modern Cure. The Epitome Of Ignorance

I’ve often told the story of Ed and Moe, two old farmers living on opposite sides of the town. Ed and Moe past each other every morning on the way to pick up supplies. Every morning there was never more of an exchange between the two men than, “Mornin’ Ed. Mornin’ Moe.”

This took place for years until one day as the two men met, “Mornin’ Ed. Mornin’ Moe. Say Ed. My horse is sick.”

To which Ed replied, “Feed him citronella.”

For several more days both Ed and Moe continued their daily ritual. After about 14 days, “Mornin’ Ed. Mornin’ Moe. Say Ed. My horse died.”

To which Ed replied, “So did mine.”

God only knows how old and how often this story has been told. I have to admit too that as many times as I’ve told the story, not everyone is so blessed as to have the same sick, demented sense of humor that I have. I got thinking this morning that perhaps this story needs some modernizing. So, here we go.

Barney and Chris were both members of the Senate Finance Committee and worked in Washington, D.C. Everyday they would meet each other at work and there was seldom never more of an exchange of words between the two men than, “Mornin’ Barney. Mornin’ Chris.”

For years this went on while the banking industry benefited from rules passed by both Barney and Chris. Life was good it seemed, until one day, “Mornin’ Barney. Mornin’ Chris. Say, Barney. I haven’t paid my taxes in several years and the banking industry is in very serious trouble and people are blaming me. What should I do?”

To which Barney replied, “Lie to the people and cover it all up, deny it all.”

Several more weeks went by and each day both Barney and Chris met at work, “Mornin’ Barney. Mornin’ Chris.”

One day as they met while walking to their respective offices, “Mornin’ Barney. Mornin’ Chris. Say, Barney. I did what you said and I think it’s gotten worse. The people know I’ve been lying and cheating.”

To which Barney replied, “Me too!”

Tom Remington