The American Liberal President – A Movie Review, Sort of

by Kenshin

I’ve heard around town that some conservatives are wailing: “Why doesn’t President Bush SAY something about the war, or the ports, or gas prices?”

Because he’s the strong, silent, stubborn type. I can respect that. Sort of the opposite of Algore. Whatever nonsense the Partisan Media may spew, I suspect Americans like their presidents to be grownups, and not whiny, out-of-control girly-men.

Maybe even liberals do, as evidenced by a film made during the Clinton administration. The American President (1995, directed by Rob Reiner) starred Michael Douglas as the president and Annette Bening as his lobbyist love toy. It even contained Martin Sheen, whom I’m told Democrats believe actually is the president.

The American President is a liberal fantasy come true, positing the questions:

What if Bill Clinton wasn’t a draft-dodging womanizing pot-smoker?

And what if he was a WIDOWER?

It’s a simple plot, really, suitable for a dream: lefty lobbyist lands in White House, meets President, and they fall for one another. Hard. There’s a lot of high-schoolish giggling, then some vague threats from the Right Wing Attack Machine, and all ends happily ever after. The Liberal President even sends his sweetie a canned ham, because he’s so gosh-darn straitlaced and genuine he can’t get to his credit cards to order her any flowers, or even a single cigar.

The American President comes complete with all forms of lib-a-mania, like the clubby right-wingers (played, of course, by leftist Hollywood moonbats) calling the President’s girlfriend a “whore.” Oh, the humanity!

The Liberal President’s staff and the People beg him to retaliate: “Please! Make a speech about all this!”

So he does. He gets on TV and trumpets at his nemesis, “I’m a card-carrying member of the ACLU—why aren’t YOU?”

And the Right Wing Attack Machine flings up its arms and vanishes in the light of the Truth. Not content with that, the film tosses in everything in between guaranteed to keep the Tinseltown/Noo Yawk elite in starry-eyed heaven, beginning with the Liberal President being kind and cozy with his staff, just like the Clintons, and going right on through Condi Rice being reduced to press secretary and Colin Powell’s complete and total non-existence (we realize we are mixing regimes here; just bear with me on that), through bombing an aspirin factory in Libya (but feeling really, really, you know, GUILTY about it), to (joy of liberal joys!) global warming and guns.

It ends with the President himself vowing to “go door-to-door” and personally yank guns from the hands of law-abiding citizens throughout America. So you can see it pretty much personified The Liberal Dream.

And the left says conservatives are living in a bubble.

— The Sword Heart Scrolls, copyright 2006